The Times you Didn't Know about
by Lunawolf5
Summary: Dean gets hit with an odd curse from not a which but an Angel. Sam and Cass have to enter his mind to pull him out again. Will they succeed? Or will Dean be lost to the past forever? Do not own. Do not make money on.
1. Chapter 1

Before anyone starts moaning and groaning, cause it's going to happen and I am putting this in here right now so if anyone brings it up seriously I will just refer you back to this.

First of all, this is fiction. It's not real. It's based on a fiction show that I do not own. It deals with fiction characters that again I do not own nor do I make money off of.

Second, in chapter 5 you met someone named Xene its pronounced Zeen. But the X makes it look cooler.

Third, I do not think that John actually did any of this. I think he was a terrible father but a lot of the things he dose in further chapters I don't think actually happened. Such as him hitting Dean. Do I think he was colder and used Dean? Yes. But hit him? No.

Fourth, I tried to keep the characters in this story as close to their originals as I possibly could. But this story takes place in season 12. There are some hints at spoilers but if you have seen all of season 11 it's not that big of a deal.

So thank you for choosing this story, so sit back relax and please enjoy. Please review and if you find any miss spellings I know! I tried really hard to get them all and used Grammarly and spell check to get them all but I might have missed a few. Some on purpose because thats how I wanted it some becuase I just didn't find them.

* * *

Sometimes Dean did things that made him wonder. Made him wonder what happened to his brother while he was at Stanford. Wonder why Dean was the way he was. But then something would happen and then 12 years passed and it no longer seemed relevant to Sam.

But sometimes Dean would say or do something that made him think about it. And then the moment would be gone and Sam would forget about it. Till the next time that Dean did something that was so out of what Sam was used to that he would question where it came from.

They had been together all their lives.

The only time they weren't was when Sam left for school. And they had not been together for almost 4 years before Dean came and got him. But there was no way that Dean had changed that much in that time. There was no way that it still had an affect on him.

But that didn't mean Sam didn't notice things. Like certain towns where no longer on their darker. Some of which neither had ever been to as far as Sam was aware. Or Dean would leave for the night and not come back smelling of sex or booze. Or Dean would say something like an old memory then pause and shake his head with a smile, that Sam didn't understand.

Sam wondered these things till they were on one hunt. A rogue angel.

They circled the house. Cass with him, and Dean rounding the back. Mary was off doing whatever she was these days with the Brits.

Cass and Sam were about to enter the house when there was a blinding light and a thud. They rushed in to see the rogue angel over Dean's body the Angel blade mere inches from Dean's fallen hand.

The angel held up his hands in defence.

"Brother, I had no intention of harming him. He is in a deep sleep though. One that can only be woken by the inside." He said stepping back.

"Why did you kill those people?" Cass demand as Sam checked his fallen brother.

"I did not wish to. They found me and I could not let heaven find me." He said. "I do not wish to hurt you."

"Too late." The two fought with Casss' victory. The rouge fell, dead.

Cass rushed to Dean and Sam and checked Dean. "He was telling the truth. Dean is alive. He unharmed but we need to wake him up from the inside."

"What the hell does that mean!?" Sam demanded. He remembered when Angel's where only a hope. Now he wished every single one except Cass to be dead.

"We have to enter Dean's mind and help him wake up. He has to want it though. We will not be able to force him." Cass said.

"Great. Let's get back to the bunker." Sam said lifting Dean onto his shoulders and placing him carefully in the back seat. Then he stopped and spun on Cass. "Will this kill him!? Are we on a time limit?"

"No. The rogue may have harmed other humans but Dean had seemed to have no intention of hurting. Dean will be fine if left like this. But he will not wake up. He may die eventually but mostly from lack of food and water and that can be solved with a simple IV drip." Cass said shaking his head.

Sam sighed a little relieved. They got in the Impala and Sam drove as fast and as safe as he could. Trying not to hurt Dean for when they get him back.

When they got to the bunker Dean was laid out on his bed and Sam hooked him to an IV bag that they had thanks to the great supplies of the bunker. A little old but with a little grace help from Cass it was cleaned and renewed easily.

"Now what?" Sam asked as he looked to the Angel for answers.

"It's a spell. I am sure you have all the ingredients already." Cass said and they went to the lab.

Mercury. Angel feather. Camomile. Poppy seeds. African dream root. And a drop of griffin blood. Then add Dean's hair, say the three magic words and boom they were in Dean's head.

Sam poured them each a glass and handed one to Cass before sitting down and Cass did the same.

"He's not going to like us poking around his head." Cass said swirling the brown sludge with distaste.

"Well I would rather have him pissed and awake then unaware and asleep." Sam said also eyeing the sludge with hate.

"This looks terrible." Cass mused and Sam nodded in agreement.

"You know Dean's the one who normally downs the terrible looking things." Sam said.

"Dean also drinks a liquor store a week." Cass replied.

"True." Sam agreed. "Alright bottoms up."

Both finished their mixture and said the words and waited.

"Well that suck-" Sam suddenly fell into a void. Blackness filled his whole being surrounding him entirely as he fell. He landed on hard cool ground with a grunt.

Wincing he opened his eyes to find the blackness gone and a new world revealed. Cass stood next to him but it was odd.

"Why are you wearing roman armor?" Sam asked as he stood up.

"Why are you dressed like a fictional wizard?" Cass said pointing to Sam's brown pants and ratty leather jacket.

"Well. This is not what I thought Dean's mind would look like." Sam said looking around.

The place they were in was a mix between a fantasy world filled with magic and Castles. But it also had armies of Romans, knights, and gun hosting soldiers. Thankfully they were all in their own little lines instead of together. A wagon pushed based them but the horse pulling it was a cyborg.

And the women were all beautiful but not extremely so. They held themselves with respect and decency. With their leather corsets and ground touching dresses. The men wore older suits and top hats.

The only way Sam could describe this place properly was Steampunk.


	2. Chapter 2

"We need to find Dean," Sam said as they walked down the cobblestone sidewalk. The roads were the smoothest asphalt Sam had ever seen and with Dean driving all the time he had seen quite a few roads in his time.

"Agreed. I do not enjoy this armor." Cass said shifting the chest plate uncomfortably. His long red cape fluttering behind him as he walked. But was really strange is that when he tried to take it off two things happened. One the cape reappeared seconds later. And two: Cass had two huge black wings under it.

"I agree. My shirt is really itchy." Sam said scratching his chest.

"Just feel lucky you don't have a cape trying to kill you." Cass huffed angrily.

Sam smiled and patted his friend on the back. "We will get through this." He said. "We just need to find Dean."

They walked for what felt like forever. People milling about as if this was an actual world. Eating and laughing. Working and playing with their kids. It was a nice world till a vamp walked past them startling Sam. Only to have the vamp smiling with its teeth, tip its top hat, and proceed to walk past them.

After that, they came to a large gathering. The rumble of something powerful was heard and the ground shook yet the crowds cheered and waved red and gold flags with what could only be an impala in the middle of it.

Cass and Sam gave each other an odd look before pushing their way to the front of the crowd. The street was clear except for a cyborg horse drawn carriage trotting along followed by two rows of mixed soldiers. Then an Impala.

And not just any Impala driven by just anyone. _The_ Impala driven by a smiling Dean who waved at the crowds.

"Found him," Cass said as they watched the other hunter drive pass.

They followed the perception to what looked like a large house. Not a castle but definitely the biggest house Sam had ever seen in his life.

"We have to get intherer," Sam said pointing at the gates that surrounded the house and prevented anyone from entering. Armed guards stood at the entrance with heavy duty weapons that on a normal day Sam would want.

"I could just fly us over." Cass pointed out as they stood their.

"I think that's a little too much." Sam said. "But we will keep it on the back burner. Like plan B."

"What are you two doing out here!?" They turned to see-

"Crowley!?" Sam all but shouted. He was making his way over to them but he wasn't in his normal nice suit. Instead he was in a more normal set of cloths. Jeans and a t-shirt that said DIPG on the chest. A pistol sat on his hip and he looked pissed.

"Who else is it going to be!? You missed breakfast now you're just standing out here!? The king wants you to join him for lunch." Crowley said ushering them into the house.

Totally confused they let him push them in. As soon as they entered the doorway they got their normal cloths back. But that meant Cass's wings were in full view. Sam thought people milling about would start asking questions but they didn't even seem to notice.

"Come on! He's in the mirror room." Crowley said leading them down a long hallway. Doors marked with dated and years. Some looked like they hadn't been opened in years others were wide open. Others had chains and locks covering them preventing people from entering.

As they walked Sam noticed that besides dates and years some had names. One was John Winchester. Another Mary Winchester. But their was also Sammy WInchester and Castiel. Some doors where smaller more like drawers in the wall then actual doors.

At the end of the hallway Crowley opened the door to a room that was accurately named. It was a room filled with mirrors. But not normal mirrors.

Sam walked past one to see himself an old man smiling another him as a child. They where perception mirrors changing with different reflections of who you were.

Dean was sitting in a simple wooden chair in front of one specifically. A table next to him with what looked like his favorite whiskey poured.

"I found them." Crowley said and Dean held up his hand dismissing Crowley leaving Sam and Cass with Dean looking into a mirror.

"Well I look into this mirror it's odd to think that it's supposed to show me what I really want. I mean I look in it and I don't see anything odd just us three. Isn't that strange? But according to Crowley it shows him as a king, a king of hell. Like that could happen." Dean snorted then cocked his head. "I missed you guys this morning. You know I hate eating without you. That big table is so empty without anyone their."

Sam didn't know what to say he was looking in the mirror and was seeing himself next to Jess. A law degree hanging on the wall. A baby on the way. A dog at his feet.

Cass was quite as well only seeing his true form. A peaceful heaven. A world where he wasn't so much of a fuck up.

"I always wonder what you two see.." Dean said breaking them out of their thoughts.

They look and see Dean watching them carefully. An eyebrow raised and calm on his face. Sam was the first to snap out of it.

"You said something about lunch?" He said trying to take the conversation somewhere else.

Dean sighed. "Of course." He said looking sad but lead them out of the room only to have the door slam behind them. "No matter how many times I ask you never reply." He muttered.

Cass and Sam traded saddened looks but didn't say anything.

They were lead into a large room. A long wooden table sat in the middle with mountains of food but Dean seemed saddened and snapped his fingers reducing the piles to three plates and a pie. A salad. And two burgers. Dean motioned for them to sit.

Sam eyed the salad. It was his favorite. Like it was his favorite type of salad of all time. Green fresh lettuce with strawberries and blueberries. Feta cheese sprinkled all over. And a grilled chicken cut into strips on top. All topped with a simple ranch dressing.

This was Dean's mind. His world. Why was Sam's favorite food here?

"Dean we need to talk." Cass said making Sam remember why their where their.

"About?" Dean asked taking a bit of his burger.

"Do you know what happened to you?" Sam asked.

"Happened? Nothing happened to me." Dean said wiping his mouth.

"Dean we are in your mind. None of this is real." Sam said trying to wake his brother up.

"Ya right." Dean said laughing. "Your real. I'm real. This food is real! How could this be in my mind?"

"We took a potion to come inside. To wake you up." Cass said. Dean set his burger down.

"Alright say I believe you. How did I get here then? If this is all a dream world or whatever how did I get here?" Dean asked leaning back.

"A rogue angel hit you with some of his mojo. Put you in this weird sleep that we needed a spell to get into your head and wake you up from." Sam explained.

"Thats impossible." Dean said standing up. "This has been my home all my life. I have always lived here."

"None of this is real!" Sam all but shouted as he stood up knocking over the chair.

Suddenly a gun was in Sam's face. He looked up stunned to see Dean holding it. "Alright if this isn't real then I could shoot you and you wouldn't die. Right?"

"Don't shoot him." Cass said. "You kill him here he really is dead."

"Then how am I supposed to know your real? Hmm? How am I supposed to know that this is all made up?" Dean demanded waving the gun around.

"Poughkeepsie." Sam said only to earn the oddest look from Dean.

"What the fuck does that killer have to do with anything?" Dean shouted angrily.

Sam was stunned. It was their word. Their code word. Dean should know it. He should not know it as the killer but instead as their code where of drop everything and get the fuck out.

Cass seemed to see Sam's sudden hesitation to answer. "Nothing. We were testing you. Can we walk the grounds no?"

Dean snorted and left them. "Get your heads on straight before dinner." He snarled.

"That is not Dean." Sam hissed angrily.

"Then who is it?" Cass asked looking at the doors that the supposed Dean just walked out of.

"I don't know. I want to look in that hall way again though." Sam said.


	3. Chapter 3

Sam went to one of the most recent doors. Labeled 2017. It was a closed door but not a locked one. Opening it they found themselves in another hallway this time labeled with mouths.

"What are we looking for?" Cass asked. "We are only three months into the year but there are a lot more doors. How are we going to find something important?"

"We don't need to look through every door," Sam said and left the hallway looking for one door specifically. His.

When they got to the door and opened it, they found two doors. One marked: 2005-2017. The other 1983-2001.

"4 years are missing," Cass said looking at the dates. "Why?"

"The years I went to Stanford. He wouldn't have any memory of me in those four years." Sam stopped and thought. "We need to see what happened in that time." He said and went to find them.

It took a lot of wondering but Cass eventually found them. It was marked: Stanford, in big red letters. Warning signs and chains held the door closed.

"Clearly Dean doesn't even want to remember these," Sam muttered sudden guilt rushing over him that he cause Dean to force himself to forget almost four years of his life.

They began picking locks and Cass tire chains away. Peeling away the barriers layer by layer. Till the door was able to be opened. Pushing it open they found a desolate and destroyed hallway.

Their where death threats and blood on the walls. The four doors that sat in front of them were in horrible condition, barely on the hinges. Bugs and flickering lights filled the space.

"This is disgusting," Cass said as a rat ran over his foot.

Sam gulped and went to the first door. Stepping through it the two found himself on the night Sam left for school.

John following him out cursing his name. But Dean wasn't there. He hadn't remembered that Dean never followed John. They walked past the scene to see Dean on the motel bed with his hands balled in his hair. Tears falling onto the floor. Suddenly John burst into the room and Dean looked away.

"Are you crying!?" John glared at his eldest son.

"N-no s-sir." Dean stumbled out only to be smacked across the face.

"You will never show weakness again! He is dead to us! You understand!?" John had shouted at Dean before grabbing his jacket and leaving probably going to a bar and drinking.

Dean had been left in the room knowing his father wasn't going to be back for quite sometimes openly wept.

"What did I do wrong!?" He wailed. "Why did you have to leave!? I protected you for so long! What am I supposed to do now!?" He cried to no one.

Sam watched his brother, his strong, steadfast brother, break down harder than he had ever seen him do in the past.

Then the scene changed again. Dean was sitting shot-gun and John was telling him about some vamp hunt. But Dean only nodded. Seemingly completely numb. Sam knew it had only been a few days since he left cause when the car stopped at a stop Dean had gotten out and called him.

"Sammy?" He said with a quiet voice. Sam remembered that conversation. It wasn't a great memory for him. At the time its had been awesome but now….not so much.

"What is it, Dean?" He had hissed angrily. "I'm going to class a few moments."

Dean hesitated before tossing a sideways look to John filling up the tank. "Just wanted to make sure you're alright." He had said quietly. Sam remembered that he had to listen closely to what Dean had said. But that had only angered him when it had happened.

"I'm fine Dean! Now don't call me again!" And with that, he remembered hanging up on his brother.

Sam watched as Dean watched the phone with almost a horrified look to his face. Then he had thrown the phone at the wall as hard as he could and went back to the car.

"Even I know that was a dick move," Cass said watching his best friend like this was painful.

"At the time I had been proud. I had no idea it had caused Dean so much pain." Sam said hanging his head.

The time changed again. This time 6 months. By the, newspaper Sam had seen.

John and Dean were at a dinner, looking through the menu. John telling Dean about some hunt and Dean just nodded along. When the waitress came up asking them what they wanted.

John said he wanted the special and when she looked at Dean he pointed to something on the menu for John to read and said it.

Sam and Cass watched as John had a one-sided conversation like it was the most normal thing to not have Dean talk or answer him. John took out his journal with a sigh when Dean went to the bathroom but then the world went blurry till Dean got back.

The journal still open for Dean to see so they could see what John wrote before he quickly put it away and out of Dean's sight. It was a page Sam had never seen before.

"Day 189: Dean still isn't talking." Was all that was written.

"He didn't speak?" Cass asked looking to Sam.

"I don't know. I had heard that when our mom had died he stopped speaking for almost a year...but Dad never said anything about him stopping while I was gone." Sam said shaking his head.

The scene changed.

This time they were at Bobby's. Dean was alone. John out somewhere doing something and it was just Dean working on the Impala in Bobby's garage.

"She's looking good," Bobby said walking up with a beer and handing it to Dean. Dean only shrugged as he took a drink.

"You know your Daddy is worried about you. It's been 8 months since Sam has left you, you have to move on. It will tear you apart if you don't. You need to start talking again." Bobby said encouragingly.

Dean had opened his mouth and Sam sensed the desperation of Dean when he tired but then shut his mouth real fast and shook his head. He handed back the bottle and went back to work on the Impala.

Bobby sighed and left him alone. Only to come back out and hand Dean a photo. It was a photo of them laughing and smiling together.

"Remember he still cares about you. He didn't leave you. He left the life." Was all Bobby said before he walked away again. Sam thought the vision would change again but it stood still as Dean looked at the photo.

A single tear running down his face as he gingerly touched it. His mouth opened again and this time a single word came out almost too quiet for him or Cass to pick up, but it was there nonetheless.

"Sammy."

That's when it changed again. It was Christmas and Dean looked proud of himself. He was outside a dorm building, Sam's dorm building. He was holding a newspaper wrapped gift and was heading into the building but hid when the door swung open.

Younger Sam stepped out with his friends. They gave him shiny wrapping gifts and they said good night as they parted ways.

They watched as Sam went back inside and Dean had followed him. Careful and taught well he followed Sam to the common room where he placed the gifts around the base of the tree. A large grin on his face as he picked one up and unwrapped it. As per the family's tradition of opening one gift prior to the morning. Bobby had insisted that they spent as many Christmas at his house as they could after all.

Dean watched Sam open the gift to a newly minted law book. Sam still had that book actually. Not that he read it often just kept up on his laws so that he could bust them out if need be.

Dean's smile vanished at the sight of the book. An almost scared look came on his brother's face. He looked down at the new print and tossed it in the trash and left.

Sam frowned. He had never known Dean had been there.

"I need to see what in that gift." Sam hissed trying to rewind the memories till he came across Dean in a book store.

Dean never went to the bookstore unless Sam wanted to look for something in which case he would cruise for smart chicks.

But Dean was looking in the reference area. Intently looking at all the titles. Till he found one and smiled. He pulled it out and Sam saw it was his favorite book. Fernando. Dean had often read it to him as a kid but they had lost the book when John had been on one of his hunt binges and made them leave the motel not given them enough time to pack right.

The book had been lost since the.

But here was Dean looking like he just found out the Yellow-eyed demon had been made up and that their mom wasn't dead after all.

He turned the book over and gulped at the price. Cass and Sam looked over his shoulder and saw it was a 15 dollar book. Dean then took out his wallet and fingered the bills coming up about 5 short and that wasn't including tax.

Heavily sighing Dean put the book back only to be stopped by an elderly women.

"What's wrong?" She asked.

Dean hesitated but tried to speak. "I don't have enough money to get my little brother a book for Christmas." He said hanging his head.

"Oh? How old is your brother that he needs that book?" She asked removing the children's book from the self.

"20 ma'am. He goes to Stanford." Dean said with a little pride.

"Law boy right?" She asked with admiration.

"Yes, ma'am." He said nodding.

"Will you be seeing him?" She asked.

"I don't know. Haven't seen him in 11 months." He said looking away.

The women looked sad but changed the subject. "My sons used to love this book. Their very favorite actually. I got it for their kids when they started reading them books at night. It's a good story isn't it?"

Dean nodded. "Yes, ma'am."

"How bout this. You mow my lawn today and I will buy you the book. How does that sound?" She asked and Dean's head shot up with absolute confusion.

"Why?" He asked genuinely confused by this kindness.

"Because no matter how old your brother get he will forever be your little brother. Ain't that right?" She asked and he smiled softly.

"I hope so." he said.

"Then do we have a deal?" She asked with a wink.

"Yes, ma'am!" He said smiling and nodding enthusiastically.

Cass looked at Sam with distaste. "You were a jerk." He said.

Sam slide down the wall as the world shifted to a grayish black and the door from before showed up again.

"I know." He muttered and they left. They looked at the other three doors and sighed heavily.

"We have to go into them," Cass said. He was not happy with Sam right now. Dean had worked for everything and Sam had been the biggest jerk ever. Granted it had been in the past but still. Jerk move.

"I know. I just hope there's something in them to tell us what happened to Dean to make him into what he is now." Sam said.

"I still don't get why this matters. Shouldn't it be more recent than this?" Cass asked.

Sam hesitated. "I honestly don't know if this is what we are looking for. All I know is that our code word was made just before I went to school. As in hours. We were still on good terms then. He must have just blocked it all out. And whoever this Dean is, doesn't know anything about us as the real us. So we have to see the rest and see what changed in Dean to make him this in his own mind."

Cass looked at the next three doors. It would be rough but hopefully better than the first year. Better than what he had just seen his best friend go through.

Hanging his head he sighed and motioned for Sam to lead the way. "Fine. But the moment it's too much we leave."


	4. Chapter 4

The next year had started out nice. Dean was with Dad again. They were slicing up vamps. Dad had his truck. Dean the Impala. Dean wasn't smiling yet but at least he was saying a few words every so often. Then they got back to the motel where it all took a turn for the worse.

"Dad, I think there's another nest in town," Dean said quietly looking through the news-paper.

"No there isn't. Sam wouldn't make shit up like that. So stop being so stupid. We leave in the morning. A werewolf in Kentucky is making a mess of the locals and their cows." John said slamming the bathroom door.

Dean hung his head. He looked over the reports again. Sam looked at them as well. Dean had been right there was another nest. The two had different hunting grounds and stayed clear of the other by at least three miles.

Dean sighed and tucked the papers in his own journal. Wait a moment.

"Dean doesn't have his own journal," Sam said eyeing the thing. Cass gave him a look of confusion.

"You sure?" Cass asked looking how full it was.

"Never seen it before," Sam said with a shrug. "Come on Dean you're right. Go after them! You're not stupid!" Sam tried to encourage even though Dean couldn't hear him.

"Maybe Dad's right. Maybe there isn't another nest." Dean said putting the journal in his duffel.

They watched as Dean went to sleep and John got into bed and started snoring. Something else was about to happen or else the vision would have changed.

Sam kept an eye on the clock but it wasn't till an hour later that Dean crawled out of bed. He grabbed his flashlight and went to the bathroom sitting in the tub to prevent the light from leaving. He looked over the papers again and started making notes.

"No there is definitely another nest." He turned off the light and as quietly as he could got dressed, packed his bag, and wrote a note telling John he couldn't sleep so he left early for Kentucky marking the time on the paper at 3 in the morning hours after he had actually left. Dad would buy it. Figuring Dean had an itch and just needed to drive.

Dean often did that now actually. When he couldn't sit still he would just drive and drive and drive. Nowhere in mind just needing to hear the purr of his Baby and see nothing but open space. Sam was ashamed to say he had never seen Dean do that while he was with them.

Dean never took the Impala just to drive. It must have been because Sam had left, that Dean had gained the habit.

Sam watched as for the first-ever he saw his brother disobey a direct order from his Dad. The first time to see Dean do what he wanted because he wanted to.

And he was right. He saved 8 people that day. Killed 5 vamps all on his own and got back in the car. Ready to back up when John's truck stopped him. Those piercing headlights put fear into Dean and Sam and Cass felt it coming off him in waves.

Dean got out of the car as did John.

"Da-" Dean started only to be smacked across the face.

"I told you to leave it!" John screamed.

"But-" John held up his hand again and Dean stopped.

"Don't ever disobey my orders again! If you ever pull a stunt like that again I am taking and scrapping the Impala." John hissed right in Dean's face. Dean's eyes went wide and he took a step back.

"You wouldn't." He breathed.

"Try me." John snarled. With no more moves on Dean's part, John spoke again. "Now get in the car and follow me. We are going Shifter hunting."

Dean sagged into the seat and clutched the steering wheel. "I will never let him hurt you! No one will ever hurt you, Baby! I may be able to protect Sammy anymore but I can sure as hell protect you." He said to the car and patted her dash with a faint smile before following his father out.

As they drove they changed memories again. This time they were outside a motel. The impala was parked outside and John's truck next to her.

It was cold but not painful cold as they watched Dean come out of the motel looking around nervously before booking it to a phone booth. He opened it and pulled a piece of paper out.

He took a deep breath then put in a quarter. He dialed the number before pressing the phone to his ear. He rested his head on the phone box and waited, muttering to himself.

Sam tried to figure out who he would be calling. Dean had his cell phone he wouldn't need to use a phone box.

Then whoever he was calling picked up and his whole face lit up as he said the name.

"Sammy!" He said happily then it fell as something else must have happened. Dean looked at the phone with absolute horror before slamming it down again and getting his quarter back not being on the phone long enough.

He then stumbled back unhappily to the motel only to be stopped by his cell phone going off. He picked up hopefully only to click it open with horrible sadness.

"Hey, Bobby." He said as he leaned against the car. Now being in Dean's memory's had some advantages that they normally wouldn't have. For example, a phone call that wasn't on speaker they could hear.

"Happy birthday. Dean!" Came the cheerful tone of the gruff old man.

"Thanks, Bobby." He said with a smile as he looked up the sky.

"You have to stop by soon. I have a gift for you. I know your daddy's probably forgotten all about it and is past out on the couch." Bobby said and Dean laughed before running his hand over his face.

"Ya, your not wrong," Dean said. "But there ain't nothing you can give me that compares to what I really want. Sorry, you had to spend the money on me."

"Boy I know you just want to talk to your brother but don't think for a moment I did it cause I had to. I didn't have to do anything. It's what I do cause I care for ya and I don't think anyone else is gonna do it." Bobby said and that was why Sam loved Bobby. The man always said what Sam couldn't and to Dean that meant the world.

"Alright, I will see if I can head up," Dean said and they heard Bobby sigh heavily.

"Your daddy still monitoring your calls and where you go?" Bobby asked and Dean solemnly nodded.

"Ya. He doesn't want me going out on my own." Dean said. "I mean I get why. I'm not that great at anything and Sam was always the smart one. He left. So why wouldn't the stupid son stay?"

Bobby growled over the speaker. "You daddy got you all brainwashed and I can't do a damned thing to tell you otherwise. But you ain't stupid Dean. You're a better hunter then your daddy. And you're the best hunter I have ever seen. Your brother would be proud of you."

"I ain't better than no buddy Bobby. And Sam isn't proud of me. He's disgusted. I tried to call him and his voice mail made me think he had picked up only to shove it in my face." Dean said when the door suddenly opened to a stumbling John.

"Dean! Who the hell are you talking to!?" He shouted angrily.

"Bobby...He was just-" John ripped the phone from Dean's hand and slammed it closed.

"How many times do I have to tell you!? Your stupid and no one willingly want's to talk to you. Don't go bothering Bobby cause you need someone to bitch to." John snarled going into the phone and deleting Bobby's number.

"But-" Dean tried again.

"No buts! You're a soldier! I am your commanding officer. Now get packed we have an egghead to fry." John growled and Dean sighed and followed his father.

"Why does Dean take this?" Cass asked. He was starting to really, really hate John.

"Dad never treated Dean like anything else. Though this is the first time I have seen Dad hit Dean. I always thought Dean respected Dad because he thought he was the greatest person but now I am wondering if Dean respected John because he was afraid of him and didn't want me to get treated the same way." Sam said looking at Cass.

"I really don't like your father," Cass said crossing his arms.

"He had his moments that weren't too bad. But Dean took care of me. Kept Dad cool and made sure I could do things to seem more normal." Sam said.

"That's a lot to put on someone shoulders." Cass pointed out as the vision changed again.

"Ya," Sam muttered.

They were back at Stanford. Dean was pacing in front of the Impala a blue and red-wrapped present in his hands.

A student walked by only to be stopped by Dean. "You live in that building?" Dean asked and the kid nodded wearily. "You know a Sam Winchester?" Again the kid nodded. "If I pay you 100 bucks will you bring this to him?"

"What is it?" He asked wearily.

"Just a gift. It's his birthday after all." Dean said holding out the bill and the gift.

"You got it, mister." The kid said and went inside. Dean smiled and got into the car. The problem was Sam never got that present. That kid never showed up at his door. He prayed Dean would never find out but he was wrong.

Dean was about to leave when the kid and a few of his friends came out holding a gold encrusted blade. The work was amazing and it must have cost Dean a fortune to get it let alone trying to get it to Sam. He face fell when he saw the kid with it holding it like it was Excalibur and he was King Arthur before laughing and putting it in his bag.

"Happy Birthday Sammy. Some jackass just stole 100 dollars and an accent knife I found from you." Dean muttered. "I won't go after him, though. You wouldn't. Punk will probably forget about it and bring it to class and get in super uber trouble." That brought a smile to Dean's face.

"Why don't you let him stay here? You go to England and do your thing, Dean can stay here." Bobby said crossing his arms as John turned bright red.

"You can't discipline the boy correctly! There is no way I am leaving without him!" John yelled.

"Da-" Dean tried but was outmatched by Bobby.

"He's 24 years old John! He doesn't need to be under your thumb all the time! Go hunt ol' yellow eyes. Dean can do more here anyway." Bobby said harshly.

"Oh, you think he will better help here than on a hunt with his old man!?" John sneered. And bobby gave such a quick sorrowful look to Dean Sam almost missed it, before he was right back at yelling at John, and suddenly that look made sense.

"You want to take the stupid son with you who can't fly to England because of your ego!? Right cause that's smart." Bobby hissed and Dean looked away closing his eyes clearly, at least to Sam and Cass, trying to hold back tears.

John held that thought for a moment. Before speaking calmly. "Fine, he can stay here. But one step out of line and you need to put him back in his place. I will be back in a month." John said and was gone.

"Sorry, Dean. I know how much you don't like plans. I just didn't want you going through it if you don't have to." Bobby said trying to convey his pain of saying that about Dean.

Dean offered up a sad smile. "Thanks, Bobby. I...I think I'm going to work in the yard a bit." As Dean left Bobby turned to make dinner only to be fuzzed out because Dean never saw this.

Time moved and they were still at Bobby's and Dean was laughing. Hard. Bobby was rolling on the floor as they watched the three stooges. It was nice to see Dean out from their father's grasp and from the looks of it, it got worse when Sam left. This was the first time Sam saw Dean smile. Not just sad or pained or hurt smile, but an actually genuine smile. It was a breath of fresh air.

Till the front door slammed open and John came in.

"What is going on here!?" He yelled angrily. "I'm off working my ass off and you're here laughing at the TV!? Drop and give me 100!"

Dean automatically dropped and did the pushups.

"John! We had been working in the yard all day! We were taking a lunch break!" Bobby said trying to get Dean to his feet but John stepped in the way.

"You're not his father. And you never will be." John growled. "Say your goodbyes when you're done, son. Then pack your bag and put it in my truck. We are never coming back here."

"But the impala!" Dean whimpered still during the punishment.

"It stays! I have no need for your disappearing and disobeying my rules again." John said and left. And Dean stood up panic going through every fiber of his being.

"Bobby!" Dean cried.

"You better listen to him, Dean. I will take good care of her. Trust me. She will be in good hands. And remember what we talked about alright? If you say yes he will no longer have control over you understand?" Bobby said.

"I can't. If I do I won't be Sam's big brother." Dean's lip quivered making Sam and Cass very confused.

"Yes, you will be. Just in the eyes of the law, you won't be John's son. You don't even have to change your name." Bobby said softly. "Just think about it alright?"

"I can't Bobby. As nice as that would be I just can't. I will come back for her when I can." Dean said and left. Not even bothering to pack his bag instead just grabbing the small bug out bag he kept in the car and left with John.

The room went that gray-white again and they left.

"How did he get the car back?" Sam asked confused.

"What do you mean?" Cass asked.

"He picked me up from Stanford in the Impala. If she was at Bobby's and Dad never brought Dean back then how did he get her back?" Sam asked.

"Hopefully we will find out in the next one," Cass said as they opened the door.

"Stop!" They whipped around to see Dean.


	5. Chapter 5

"Stop!" Dean shouted angrily. He was painting and looked pissed.

"Which Dean are you?" Sam asked. He knew the real Dean would be floating around here somewhere but not know which one to deal with he never figured that the real one would come to them.

"The real on," Dean said. "Now back away from that door and come back out. This has been sealed off for a reason."

"But we need to know," Cass said. He was invested now. This it was an interesting feature his friend had.

"No, you do not," Dean said grabbing them both and pulling them out of the room before flicking his wrist and cracked chains appeared.

"Why not Dean!?" Sam yelled. "We are in your head cause you got zapped. So we are here to dragging you back."

"I know why you're here. Princess over there told me." Dean's jaw jerked to the Dean they had dealt with earlier. He was smiling and gloating to all the subjects. And the real Dean rolled his eyes. "What a dick."

"But isn't he a part of you?" Sam asked and Dean gave him such a face that Sam had to stop.

"Just because you have a treat in your head doesn't mean you are that trait," Cass said. "This could just be Dean's way of dealing with a shitty world."

"Come on. We have to get out of here." Dean hissed.

"How did you get the Impala back?" Sam suddenly asked. Making Dean halt.

"Got that far did you?" Dean muttered then continued walked. "Look you guys need to leave. It's not safe here for you."

"We are not leaving without you," Cass said grabbing Dean by the arm making him stop.

"What!? You think it's safe for me here!? Hell no! I am trying to get out!" Dean said. "It's my head but I don't need this shit."

"You're trying to get out?" Cass asked and Dean nodded.

"For like forever! As soon as I realized where I was I have been looking for a way out." Dean said. "There is no way out. I bet you guys have some time limit and will be forced out but me? I will die in here."

"Why was that memory locked?" Sam asked suddenly.

"Uh….lets see, you saw it, right? Why the hell would I want to remember that shit!?" Dean shouted and started walking away.

"You're moving away from it." Sam pointed out.

"Course I am!" Dean shouted throwing his hands up.

"How did you get there in the first place?" Sam asked.

"I don't know...took a wrong turn I guess," Dean said and turned. They were right back in the hallway. "Dammit!" Dean then retraced his steps and marked the turned they had taken with a marker.

"Dean stop!" Sam said grabbing his brother. "Maybe those memories are the way out. And since you want to leave your head is giving you the way out."

"That's stupid. Those fucked up memories never helped anyone." Dean growled.

"Remember when Charlie had been attacked by that Ginn and you had to snap her out of her dream?" Sam asked and Dean nodded. "Her letting go of the fear of losing her mother let her leave. Maybe it's the same thing."

Dean sighed. Running his hand through his hair. "Fine lead on," Dean said.

They stepped in front of the third year and Dean was visibly shaking with fear. "I change my mind," Dean said turning back and Cass grabbed him forcing him back.

"Open it," Cass said and Dean reached out with a shaking hand. Then dropped it, took a deep breath and then tried again this time wrenching it open and stepping in.

The scene they came to was in an old warehouse. Windows with smashed glass and concrete tossed every which way. Bodies without heads laid about.

"What were they?" Sam asked looking at Dean.

"Ghouls." He whispered his eyes nailed to the back room. Cass followed the look and decided to check it out. "No!" Dean snapped out of it and prevented Us from continuing.

"We have to face it, Dean," Sam said. Then a pained cry was heard and shouting. Dean stayed put as the two ran to the door and found Dean on the ground curled in a ball. John tied on a table and a ghoul attacking Dean with everything it had.

"You foul-mouthed Hunters! Killing my family!" It said slamming its booted foot into Dean's spine making younger Dean cry out in absolute pain.

"Dean! Get up!" John cried trying to pull himself free with no luck.

"I think you wailed on him to hard before I showed up. Maybe you shouldn't have broke his arm and few ribs?" The ghoul sneered then grabbed Dean's short hair and pulled it up. "I have never turned a human before. But I wonder if I turned you and let you eat your daddy there if you would enjoy it."

"NO!" Dean cried out but his face was pushed back into the ground scraping across rusty nails and broken glass.

"It wasn't meant to be answered stupid," The ghoul shouted angrily.

"Leave him alone! Pick on me instead!"John shouted angrily. The monster turned and face John. Dragging a blade from his belt.

"Of course how could I forget you?" He stabbed the knife into John's leg making the older man grunt in pain.

"I get a gun," Dena said from behind them. "Blow his brains out. And Dad still thinks I was a failure. Refused to let me leave the motel for close to a week."

And just on cue younger Dean has a gun and blows the monsters head clean off.

"Why did Dad always beat on you?" Sam asked as younger Dean shifted painfully to untie his father.

"I earned it. This time got him tied up, an hour before this wouldn't shoot a kid ghoul and it ended up taking a chunk of Dad's arm before I finally pulled that trigger." Dean said stiffly as he watched himself cut John out. Then winced as a hand almost collided with his face.

John then pulled it up and shook his head before walking away.

"That was more painful than him smacking me," Dean said.

The image changed again to yet another Motel room. It wasn't a new concept for Sam but it gave him some perspective. Dean had spent all but 4 years in motels. Or sleeping in the back of the Impala. All while Sam got to go to school. Have friends. Have a solid girlfriend. Have a constant bed.

He had never thought about it but Dean was 4 when this had all started. He may be remembered a year and a half of having a home and he must have held onto that memory with everything he had. Knowing there was something better than motels or the smooth leather of the Impala's front seat.

Sam may have never known what life would have been with his mom or dad and without hunting but he had, had a home and but he was just blind and selfish to see it. He poked fun at Dean for trying to make the bunker their home but he didn't think he was going to do that anymore. Dean had never had a home that he could truly remember. Not like Sam did.

He watched as Dean sat at the table tapping his finger on the wood as he flipped through reference books. Outside the window the truck. But still no Impala.

The door opened to John holding two bags of food and two drinks. He plopped one down in front of Dean along with the drink. Dean froze and watched John as he sat on the crappy half destroyed couch in front of the TV.

"How's the research?" John asked coldly.

"Slow. I found-" Dean started but upon hearing John open the bag he stopped.

"Unless you know what I am hunting and how to kill it I don't want to know," John said flipping on the TV and eating his burger.

Sam watched Dean remove a salad and his whole body sagged at the sight of the green leaves. His eyes drifting to John's burger hungrily.

"When you start behaving properly you can have burgers again," John said not looking at his son. Dean hung his head and ate the salad that looked like it was three days past healthy and a mouth from edible.

Dean made a disgusted face and John glared at him. "Eat it." He said harshly.

Suddenly all the fast food joints made sense. Dean may love his burgers but he also knew how to find a good salad so Sam never had to eat something that could quite possibly kill him.

Dean gagged 4 times and almost puked twice. But he held it down and kept reading. Dean looked absolutely miserable. His stubble was splotchy at best like he would shave, stop, and not continue. His hair was longer than Sam had ever seen it. Granted on Dean long hair mnt floppy. He had bags under his eyes and a sagging posture.

It was actually scary to see his brother in such condition. Sam looked to Cass who was glaring at John with such a look of hate that if the angel was at full power and John was real Sam was pretty sure he would be burnt to a crisp.

Dean, on the other hand, stood there stiffly. Like the memory was nothing more than a bad dream.

When John was finished with his meal he went to bed and Sam saw one bed. And John was not one for sharing anything.

"Don't stay up too late. You need to be sharp tomorrow. Need you looking where to find the weapon." John said sleepily before passing out.

Younger-Dean sighed heavily and shut the book. He crept quietly to the bathroom and showered. Before grabbing a shitty blanket the motel provided and his jacket and curled up on the lumpy spring revealing cushions.

Another thing that had never occurred to Sam while he was at Stanford was that with him gone Dad and Dean would be alone. Dad would make Dean do the research. And Dean was as strong with research as Sam was at cooking a burger. It could happen but not very well.

Dean had clearly become the researcher and with the lacking passion and skills that Sam had, it seemed to take him twice as long to get information and John never was a patient man.

"Why didn't you leave?" Sam asked quietly.

"And go where? Bobby's? To you? No! I had nowhere to go! If I went to Bobby's even to get Baby John would have found me. If I went to see you. You would have turned a blind eye and let me crash on the couch. I had nowhere to go. No one to turn to." Dean said glaring at Sam.

"I would never have done that!" Sam cried as the memory paused. It was about to shift but something in Dean's large skull was keeping it still.

"Oh? Your brother shows up at your doorstep looking like shit. No car. No money. No skills other than in hunting and you would have actually done something? No. I wasn't going to bother you. You were out. I wasn't going to lead John to you." Dean hissed harshly.

This time it was dark. Like really dark. And cramped.

"Where are we?" Sam asked trying to look around even for Cass or Dean but nothing.

"You need to leave." Came the younger voice of Dean.

"What for?" An unknown man asked.

"If my Dad shows up you're dead," Dean said as some light started to come in. A ratted out, shitty apartment was coming into view. Dean was sitting leaning against the wall while another man sat opposite to him with a red ball.

"Your dad sounds like a dick." The other said with a smile.

"He's not so bad. When my brother was around at least he would smile. But I guess he loved Sammy more." Dean said looking at the ceiling, that seemed to be one wrong move from collapsing on Dean.

"Well, that's why you got me! Right?" He said tossing the ball at Dean.

"I guess." Dean sighed and tossed the ball back before taking out a book from his duffel bag.

"You ever going to show that to your Dad?" The unknown guy asked. And Dean snorted.

"Hell no. Dad would flip through it then burn it. Saying everything is wrong cause I don't have enough evidence to prove it all with." Dean said touching the soft leather.

"Do I have a page?" The stranger said excitedly.

"Course." Dean opened it and handed it over. Sam saw the words Were Wolf and Imagination.

"Oh! Cool! Even got my favorite food in here! Mac n' cheese s'mores!" He said rubbing his belly.

"Course. You know, Xene, I wish…" Dean paused and looked away.

"What is it, Dean?" Xene looked absolutely concerned for Dean.

"I wish I could be like Sam. Be book smart. Be strong. Be brave enough to leave Dad. Be strong enough to stand up to him. Be strong enough to stand up on my own." Dean said taking back the book.

Xene hummed and tossed the ball to Dean again.

"I think you're pretty great. I mean from what I have heard, Sam sounds like the coward." Xene said with a shrug. Dean pelted the ball at the others head.

"Don't you ever say that about Sam!" Dean yelled angrily. Xene grabbed the ball with such skill that Sam wondered what he was.

"What I am saying is that not many people could go through what you go through and not run. Sam left. He ran. You stayed. Maybe out of fear of your dad but you stayed because you are stronger." Xene said and before Dean could reply the door was forced open. And Xene darted under the bed.

John walked in with an arm full of beer and a bag of food. He tossed the bag to Dean then landed in front of the TV. Popped a can and started drinking.

"You find out what I need to kill this thing?" John called angrily.

"Silver blade dipped in dogs blood," Dean said as he opened the bag.

"Where can I get dogs blood!?" John yelled angrily whipping on Dean who flinched and shuffled through his bag.

"I got it! Don't worry!" Dean said setting the jar on the table.

John went red. "You left!?"

"Y-yes, sir. I knew you would be tired so I took care of it." Dean said not looking at John.

John hissed but nodded. "Fine but don't do it again."

"Who was Xene?" Cass asked looking at Dean.

"A friend," Dean said harshly.

"What was he?" Sam asked. He can't even catch one of Dean's throws when he pelts it like that without needing to take a minute. That kid took it like he was catching a normal ball tossed by a little kid.

"He was a werewolf," Dean said looking under the bed where yellow eyes peeked out.

"You had a friend WereWolf!?" Sam cried. Course! Dea had a soft spot for a vamp why not a werewolf to!?

"Sorta. He was an Imaginary friend. Though I didn't realize it till like a month later. He would come and go like a normal person. Opened doors. Silver hurt him. I thought he was just real." Dean said shrugging.

"You freaked out on me about Sully and here you had one at like 25!?" Sam cried as the memory played out around them.

"Xene was around a long time. He showed up like three or four days after you left. Surprised you haven't met him yet actually." Dean said with a shrug.

"And you never questioned why he was in the same place at the same time you were?" Cass asked.

"He said his dad was in the army. When we were in the same town we would hang out. I didn't always see him ya know. I could go months without having any contact with him at all. We always said that when we entered a town we had to leave a message. Just in case. At the greatest burger joint in the whole town. A hex mark with our singlets, month and year carved under a table closest to the door on the right side. Then we would see if the other was there and if they wasn't, mark it and leave check, it the next day if nothing then they weren't there. It was a good system." Dean said with a shrug.

They were outside. The truck parked next to a small fireYounger-Deanan was sitting by the fire cooking burgers on a camping pan. When suddenly John dropped his duffel in front of him holding up his journal.

"What is this!?" John yelled angrily.

"My journal." Dean said standing up.

"Why!?" John demanded.

"I thought if you could have one I could to." Dean said looking his father right in the eye.

"Dean you're not a strong enough hunter yet. You won't be going on your own anytime soon! You don't need this." John said tossing the leather into the fire.

Dean jumped to get it only to be pulled back by John. "Dad!" He cried as his book burned.

"Sit down and finished dinner. I don't want to hear another word about this." John said walking back to the truck. When the first died down later that night Dean went back out and picked the leftovers out of the journal out of it.

He sat down and flipped through the charred pages till he reached the back page and took something out. It was a photo that had burned three fourths of the way and you could not longer tell what it was.

Throwing the book back in he held the corner and hung his head. His body shuddering in silence.

"What was it?" Sam asked. His eyes never leaving younger Dean's form. He had never seen his big brother cry so much. But in these years he figured Dean had cried enough that not it's just anger.

"A photo." Dean said watching himself. "A photo of Baby. One of the only ones I ever had actually."

"You were upset about loosing a photo of the car?" Cass asked not sure it was worth the tears.

"Ya. She had all the photo's of Sam and me. Of mom. All my things. My gear. She had everything. And to lose her photo was the last straw actually." Dean said with a shrug.

Sam watched as younger Dean suddenly stopped and stood up. He grabbed his bag and just walked. He just kept going.

"You left." Sam breathed.

"A little late. But yeah." Dean said the the vision changed again. They were back at Bobby's but only for a split second before the room went white and gray again. Leaving only the door.

"What the hell!?" Sam cried. "What happened next!?"

"I, to, would like to know." Cass said.

"It was New Year's day by the time I got to Bobby's it's probably in the next year." Dean said shrugging and went left the room.

They stood in front of the last door. In silence. Dean in anticipation, hoping this will finally get them out. Sam and Cass vibrating. Sam because he was an advected Dean enthusiasts as well as a book lover and to have a story cut short like that especially because it was Dean made him want to shove past his brother and see what happened next.

Cass because he was worried what might be through that door. He had no idea what the boys had gone through before he showed up but this was an insight into Dean. He knew a lot of Sam's past but Dean? He wasn't a mystery but he never was as big of a deal to heaven like the boy with the demon blood was.


	6. Chapter 6

Dean pushed the door open and they walked into Bobby's yard. Younger-Dean was pacing on the porch. His fist clenched tightly around his bag. His other hand in his mouth. He spit every so often showing he was biting his nails.

Finally, he seemed to realize something and banged on the door. He began shuffling from one foot to the other. Patients never being Dean's strong suit he gave up and was about to walk away when the door opened to Bobby.

"Hey, Dean. Where's your daddy?" Bobby asked looking around and behind Dean.

"Back in New Mexico," Dean said not meeting Bobby's eyes.

"How did you get all the way up here then?" Bobby asked and they all followed Bobby into the house. Dean hesitated a moment before dropping his bag.

"I walked." He said still not looking at Bobby.

"You walked!? All the way!?" Bobby all but shouted in surprise.

"I didn't have enough money for the bus and hitchhiking only brought me so far. I refused to steal a car cause Dad could track it, so I just walked." Dean said with a shrug.

"What did you do for sleep!? For food!?" Bobby cried rushing into the kitchen to make Dean a sandwich.

"I had a few dollars here and there. Hustled some pool. Earned enough to get a bed and a meal. Growing up with limited funds for two people for longer then dad thought had really turned me into a penny pincher." Dean said with a chuckle.

"Speaking of your Daddy. He called. Asking if you were here." Bobby said setting a simple PB&J in front of Dean who smiled and took a big happy bit of it. "I course told him I hadn't seen you since he dragged you off. That was 3 months ago Dean."

"He still looking for me?" Dean asked suddenly the sandwich became harder to swallow.

"He's looking. Got any hunter who will look out looking to. He's worried sick about you boy." Bobby said concerned.

"Pursh. He just worried no one will be researching for him anymore. Now he has to do it all himself." Dean said angrily.

"I'm not so sure son. He sounded panicked. Ain't never seen John Winchester panic. Never that panicked at least. He sounded like if the Yellow-eyed demon was standing in front of him he would push past it if it meant seeing you again." Bobby said.

"I doubt it," Dean said shaking his head.

"He stopped hunting to look for you, Dean," Bobby said. "Showed up here a few times actually. Hoping you would come here for your car."

"Well, I am here for her. She's still here right?" Dean asked fear entering his being.

"Ya. She's in the back. I take her out once a month. Give her a tune up, clean her up. Make sure she's not collecting dust." Bobby said nodding.

Dean let out a sigh of relief. "Thanks, Bobby," Dean said finishing his sandwich. That's when the phone rang.

Bobby reached out and picked it up. "Singer Salvage yard." He answered then stopped and pressed the speaker button and told Dean to be quite.

"Bobby!" It was John. Dean could hear the panic in his voice. Hell Sam could hear it. "Have you heard anything?"

"No. I haven't seen or heard anything." Bobby said shaking his head.

"Dammit! Where the hell is he!?" John shouted angrily and by the sound of it was slamming the steering wheel.

"I don't know John," Bobby said with a shrug.

"Anyway, I am heading to Stanford. I really don't want to bother Sam but if Dean made his way their Sam is probably keeping him on the down low. Making his brother invisible and protecting him. I am going to see if he's there." John said and the gunning of the truck was hard as he seemed to speed up.

Bobby looked at Dean with a raised eyebrow. Dean sighed to faintly Bobby seemed to be the only one to hear it.

"Dad," Dean said quietly but John heard him. The squeal of breaks in the background echoed out of the phone.

"Dean! Are you at Bobby's!? Why didn't you call!? Are you alright!?" John shouted panic no longer in his voice now it was replaced with worry.

"I'm at Bobby's he said to keep quiet. I didn't want you going to bother Sammy. And I'm fine." Dean said with a small smile.

"I am a few hours out! Stay right where you are!" John cried.

"Do I have to stay right where I am? Can I work on my car and go to the bathroom while I wait at least?" Dean asked that faint cocky humor in his voice making John laugh. A nice hearty laugh that Sam actually missed.

"Ya. Dean you don't have to stay in one spot. Just stay at Bobby's alright?" John said.

"Alright," Dean said in agreement. And the phone went dead.

"Told you he was worried," Bobby said with a smile.

A few hours past and they kept following younger Dean around. Cass watched him fix the Impala and the older Dean muttered answers when Cass was confused about something. When John's truck finally pulled up and John was out of it in seconds.

"Dean!" He cried running to Dean. Dean was scared but when John wrapped his arms around him, he claimed and hugged John back. "Don't ever do that again! I already lost one of my boys I can't lose you either alright?"

"Alright, Dad." Dean nodded with a smile.

"Look I am sorry the way I have been treating you since Sam left. It wasn't right and I am sorry. I was so scared to loose you that I didn't know how to keep you safe so I just trapped you. I have a hunt lined up for us. Just to get you back into the swing of things then I want you to go on your own hunts alright?" John said and Dean's face light up like Christmas and he was watching Sam opening his gifts.

"Oh yes! That would be awesome!" Dean cried happily but one look from John and he stopped. "Right yes. That's cool." He said passing it off as a spur of the moment.

"Come on. Let's go see Bobby. We can stay the night and then I want her back up and running." John said looking at Baby.

"She's ready and willing," Dean said nodding happily.

"Good," John replied.

"That was nice," Cass said as they watched them walk into the house.

"Thought he was going to kill you." Sam joked.

"So did I. Had to change my pants after this," Dean said with a small embarrassed grin.

"Really?" Sam asked.

"Ya. Not one of my proudest moments I can tell ya that." Dean said.

The time changed this time to another motel. The impala parked outside but no truck. Younger Dean was stepping out of his room and was carrying a note.

"What the hell old man?" He cries as he tossing his bag into the trunk. "Go on a hunt all by yourself and you get distracted? Couldn't call me?" Dean growled as they got into the car with him.

They passed a sign that said they were leaving Louisiana. Sam gave it a confused look.

Younger-Dean took out his phone and dialed a number. "Hey, Caleb! I need an address." Before pausing. "Sam Winchester. Law Student at Stanford. I don't know if he's still on campus or what but I need an address…..No, I am heading to Cali now. Gonna take a few hours to even enter the state but give me a ring when you find it alright?...Thanks."

"Stupid kid," Dean muttered and turned up the radio. Older Sam groaned. Older Dean smiled. Cass just watched the landscape go by.

"You're going to get me aren't you?" Sam asked Dean.

"Ya. Trust me this wasn't my first intention. I looking for our dad for almost a week. But you know Dad. He don't want to be found, I wasn't going to find him. And plus like I said I knew he had been in Cali anyway." Dean said. Just as younger Dean's phone rang again.

"Caleb! Where am I going?" He asked. And nodded. "Thanks, man. Owe ya one."

Younger-Dean had been right it did take a few hours. And they sat right there with him. "I always wondered how you found me."

"Well, I know people even without you or Dad around," Dean said.

Finally, they made it to where younger Sam had been living. It was getting dark and they watched his younger self-close blinds to his apartment.

Younger-Dean removed the keys and just sat there. Watching. Waiting.

"What were you waiting for?" Cass asked.

"I was nervous. I hadn't seen Sam in almost 4 years." Dean said as it just got darker and darker. Finally, Younger-Dean took a deep breath and got out. They followed and saw him scale the fire escape into the apartment and get in.

"You scared the living shit out me when you came into my apartment you know," Sam said.

"I know. It was great." Dean chuckled.

Suddenly the world went white.

Sam was thrown and landed back in his body. Jolting up he looked around Cass was in the same position as he was. Totally confused and looking around. They looked to Dean who wasn't moving.

"Dean!" Sam cried running to his brother's side. Nothing. He shook his brother. "Come on you dumbass get up!"

Cass touched his forehead and waited a moment. "He's alive. Give him a moment," Cass said trying to calm Sam down.

"We just did all that and he's not awake yet!?" Sam yelled angrily only to be slapped in the face.

"You are the nosiest bitch in the world," Dean said as he sat up with a groan rubbing his neck.

"Dean!" Sam plowed into his brother with a hug. Cass smiled and hugged Dean when Sam moved back.

"What is the last thing you remember?" Cass asked moving away.

"You two crawling around in my memories. By the way, never do that again." Dean said ripping the IV out of his arm and standing.

"You were dying!" Sam cried trying to defend himself.

"I don't care. Don't ever go in my head again." He said. "I think I'm going to go for a drive."

"Dean-" Cass set his hand on Sam's shoulder.

"He will be fine. The spell didn't hurt him. Just brought up memories he didn't want to deal with again." Cass said.

"Alright if you say so," Sam said.

From that day on Sam understood his brother just a little bit more. And he no longer pestered Dean over things like calling the bunker a home or seeming to care for the car more at times. He just let his brother be his brother.


End file.
